I’m going to try and write this without sounding bitter. But I’ll be honest – I’ll probably have to spit out the lemon by the time I’m done. 

There’s so much chatter (be it written or verbal) about how people aren’t actually talking to each other any more. Everyone, even in the same proximity to each other (at a bar, at a restaurant table, etc.) seems to be on their phones. We also aren’t actually talking on our phones anymore. Phones are primarily used for texting, email, taking photos, and social media. 

As someone who makes the bulk of my living from social media, I get it. I am 100% guilty of all of this about 98% if the time. But, why are people responding to a voice mail with an email or a text? WHY are people RSVP’ing (or not RSVP’ing at all) to a real-live, in-person event and not showing – with zero explanation? 

Here’s a suggestion: SHOW UP. 

I haven’t had a wedding. I haven’t had any babies. But I have shown up for most of the showers, bachelorette parties, weddings, baby showers, “sprinkles” (have to admit – that one is lost on me), and milestone birthday parties (or weekends away) I’ve been invited to. Do I do that because I feel obligated? Do I always have nothing else to do on those days? No, I do it because I value the human interaction and celebrating milestones & achievements with those who are important to me. And I understand it is important to them.

I suppose there’s a pecking-order for what people consider significant life events. My milestone birthdays are important to me. My master’s graduation party was important to me. I don’t think people didn’t “show up” because they didn’t want to be there or that it had anything to do with me personally. They prioritized something else over my celebration and I get that happens from time-to-time. 

It should be reasonable to want people to show up, right? Especially when they said they were coming?

Here’s a suggestion: If you don’t show up, make an effort to let the host(s) know. 

And, finally, take a minute to think about the occasion and whether you really need to skip an event because of the reason you have before you… and know that simply showing up can really mean THE WORLD.


  • Amen! I wish the long lost art of rsvping would return. I am completely discouraged from hosting any events because it is so much effort to try to plan food, timing, space, etc, and then end up with food for 50 with only 5 in attendance, or vice versa. I think that rsvping is a way of showing respect for someone. A lack of response shows that you do not value that person or their celebration. But I suppose with all those lemons, more margaritas for us, right?

  • Haha, yes, Sarah – margaritas, lemonade — it's all the same! Great points. I won't claim to have been a perfect RSVP-er either… We all let things get lost in the shuffle from time-to-time, but it's hilarious (& sad) that I get giddy that I actually hear back from people in a timely manner when I plan a gathering (and then that they show up 😉 ). Thanks!!

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