Becoming a Writer… Again

As I started this blog I didn’t give myself expectations of how often I would write. I decided at some point (after I felt bad about not writing for a while) that I should write only when truly inspired… And the days of feeling guilty about something like that should be over. After all, I want to keep the interest of those who might be reading (hoping some people would read it!) and in some small way I suppose I want to make a difference with what I write. That might sound a bit obvious, but it only recently occurred to me that this is part of my motivation for writing.

As I study for the entrance exam for the master’s program I’m applying for (the Miller Analogies Test, or MAT), I’m revisiting names of authors I read — or should have read! — as an English major, and I’m reminded that being able to write is a gift. I wonder if it’s a gift I neglected for far too long or if I returned to it just in time within my journey? This blog has been a professional and personal journey so far and I believe it re-stoked my desire to go back to school. It has done that, but it has also done so much more…
 

With hesitation, I let my Mom read the entry I wrote right after my brother Terry passed away in October. I knew it would make her cry. It did. But then she said “Well, maybe it will help someone”, which was something I hadn’t thought a lot about. I wrote it because it was cathartic for me and it was a way to let those people close to me know about something my family and I were going through. I got an email from a close friend this past week who told me that my story about Terry has helped her in her recovery as an alcoholic… Wow. Of course, that made me cry! She said she hoped in some small way that that would give me and my family some peace that his loss was not in vein. It absolutely does.

I’m so excited when I’m inspired to write. And if what I write and my experiences have a positive effect on just one person, then I am truly blessed. I am blessed to have become a writer… Again. I truly hope and pray that I am accepted into this Master of Arts in Communication & Leadership program because I do believe it will help me continue to learn and grow and to make a difference.

Big Shoes to Fill

For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to become a Big Sister through the Big Brother/Big Sister program! I put it on my bucket list as something I’d like to do before I turn 40 and time is waning… I think that is really the theme of my bucket list – if not now, when? And WHY NOT now?!

So I headed to the SD BBBS orientation today thinking it is something I really want to do, but that I need to be realistic about whether I have the time and whether it would truly benefit myself and a “Little” given my schedule and the fact that I’m in the process of applying for graduate school. In fact, last night I literally wrote out a list of all the “non-work” and “non-sleep” hours each day to see how much time I would have to dedicate to a “Little” and grad school. Truth be told, there are a lot of hours in a week! If I manage my time well, there is absolutely no reason why I couldn’t do it. I learned today that you have to commit to a minimum of one year and each month we should plan on 2-4 visits that are 2-5 hours each–I really *can* do that!

Today at the orientation we were asked to reflect on what it means to be a mentor and who had been our mentors as we were growing up. I’ll be honest that I could not pluck a name out right away. And the more I think about it, I’ve had people who have influenced me in my life, but I still can’t point to one person who influenced my path in life in a way that a mentor does. I had great teachers in college who taught me how to think critically and helped me to become a better writer, but I can’t really say they were “mentors.” And I’ve had plenty of great bosses over the years who have taught me a TON and have served as guides along my professional path, but I feel I’m still trying to determine where I’m meant to be professionally.

As the youngest of nine children, I think I’ve always wanted to be the “big” of someone! And I’ve been fortunate that my volunteering for Delta Gamma over the years has afforded me the opportunity to give back and be an example to the collegians from my chapter and to other alumnae in San Diego and throughout our region. I’ve become a leader because of these Delta Gamma volunteer experiences and they can’t be matched, but I believe now is the time to mentor someone younger and try to be an example to them like I wish I had growing up. Like anything else in life, you get out of things what you put into them and I’m so excited to become a Big Sister through the San Diego Big Brother/Big Sister program! I’m certain that I’ll get as much, if not more, out of it as my “Little” does.

New Year… New Beginnings

16 days into the new year… How are you feeling about it so far?
A friend of mine posed that question as her status earlier today and I found all of the comments to be very interesting. While it is “just another day”, it’s nice to feel like you have that opportunity to start anew. To put whatever you need to behind you and take a totally different outlook on what is ahead.
Just about everyone starts a new year with resolutions or goals for the year and, typically, within a month or two the resolutions are in the rear view mirror not to be seen again until the next new year. This year I decided not to make resolutions I won’t keep, but to do the following:
     Publish my bucket list that I have only 9 more months to accomplish and ask for the help of my friends and family to accomplish all the items!
     Approach the year with a truly optimistic view. Things have not gone my way in the recent past, but that’s just it – it’s in the past!
     All of that… And I have the bug to go back to school and get my Masters… WOW, I thought I was busy already?!
Each new year quickly begins with the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas. I attended last year because I was to be bidding on audio-visual services for part of the show. This year I attended again for that reason and many others… And this year my industry association (PCMA) annual meeting happened to begin right on the heels of CES, right in Vegas! That meant I was to spend 7 days and nights in Las Vegas (IN-A-ROW!). I was frightened going in, but it was truly an adventure and inspiring. Of course, I came home exhausted beyond words and felt like I needed to sleep for three days, but I was reminded once again that there is NO other way for me to meet new potential clients and do that relationship-building with potential clients and fellow suppliers. In fact, two supplier friends of mine introduced me to two of my best potential new clients during the conference. NOTHING can replace the face-to-face interactions that these meetings bring. Now, having these meetings in a city that “makes you go to sleep” (I do LOVE Vegas, New Orleans and NYC, but phew!) would help the exhaustion factor, but I wouldn’t replace the experience for the world.
In addition to meeting several new potential clients, I was able to close a deal I was already working on and learned that we’ve made it to the finals on two other big deals… The new year is off to a killer start!
It’s important to keep your eye on the prize and not get mired in the negative… I’m personally intending to approach each week with a positive spirit and that HAS to have a positive influence on my life—ALL aspects of my life! I suggest you do the same. Positive affirmations! It worked for Stuart Smally, right? :o)

Happy New Year to you all.

The Best Gifts Aren’t the Shiny Ones

Now, I love a good shiny gift, don’t get me wrong. Like the perfect silver chain with a heart charm that my friend Carol gave me… Or the beautiful silver pearl charm, with a little dangly diamond on it that my sister Maureen gave me!
But sometimes it’s the ones you just have to dust off a bit to remember how truly valuable they are. Family is SO important and treasured, but I believe it’s the friends in our lives that provide total enrichment. With *true* friends, you don’t have to put on a face… You don’t have to pretend that everything is ok! And, even if life is mostly great, it is your friends who will listen and try to help you with what is not. It’s a safe and fair place to vent because your friends—especially those you’ve had most of your life—know your history and what makes you tick. You don’t have to re-explain your past in order to help them understand your present. Perhaps they will provide you some insight that you didn’t have before? Or, at worst, they will have listened and maybe helped you give yourself the insight you needed. Being listened to is sometimes all you need.
I truly love my friends in San Diego and they help to enrich my life on a regular basis. But these aren’t the people who know it all! It is difficult to live so far away from my close childhood friends whom I’ve known for 26-35 years. But we always pick up right where we left off and I treasure the time I get with them. We all need to make an effort to reach out and to see each other more… Life gets in the way for all of us for different reasons and it’s my hope that we will make more time.
It’s the gift of friendship that I need to remind myself to collect on because it doesn’t cost a penny, but gives so much in return. Let’s all resolve to approach 2011 with the intention of dusting off those awesome friendships and keeping them as shiny as we can.

The Art of Doing Nothing

So many trips… So many events… “What a job” I have, most people say…

And yet, I’ve been in search of the ultimate “do nothing” time – I needed a true vacation! A year ago I went on a trip to Waikiki by myself and it was beyond wonderful. I purposefully didn’t schedule anything… No tours or anything. Each day I woke up when I wanted, went to the beach when I wanted, and ate WHEREVER I wanted! I did all of that and I met some very interesting people along the way. The only thing wrong with that trip was that it wasn’t long enough. It was last year while I was gone that my sister Maureen was inspired to book a trip to Maui his December. I was already looking forward to the trip!

My job is intense. My job requires all of me at most times. I’ve ALWAYS been a vacation person, but since I began this job, I’ve never needed vacations so badly. In May I took a 15 day trip to Europe… The least relaxing vacation ever! While it was fantastic, and I relaxed in bits and pieces, I was almost constantly on the go because I wanted to see as much as I could in the time that I had (the original plan, btw, was to lay on the beach in Greece for 2 weeks!).

Being on the go non-stop for work takes its toll, so I would typically be inclined to stay home on my “time off”, but the only way to do NOTHING, to completely disconnect from my life, is to get away… And tropical getaways are the best. On my way to Maui this trip, one of the movie choices was “Eat, Pray, Love”. It was like a sign from God. Recently my friend Michelle (when having dinner with her in Tampa while on a work trip) told me I should write a book and she sited that movie when she said it (likely a blog topic for another time!). I knew what the movie was about generally, but didn’t know the total of it until I was on my way this week.  The lead character speaks of the art of doing nothing and it sang to me. It truly is an art for people who are constantly going, going, going… Whether that “going” is for professional or personal reasons (both for me), it becomes difficult to stop and do “nothing.”

The past six months have been incredibly difficult. Though also full of wonderful times on my own and with great friends and family… It’s also been full of great loss. I’ve been a successful sales person over the past several years, which has been a huge blessing. Especially after becoming a sales person on accident and never truly feeling like a “sales” person… Having success felt like magic (despite knowing how hard I work). But over the past six months, I worked harder than ever and I could not win a deal. Combine that with the loss of my brother, and it has been HARD.

I finally won a deal about two weeks before my “do nothing” vacation… Truly small when you look at what I’ve sold in the past two years, but it felt like both a million dollar deal and like a HUGE weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Most people don’t believe in symbolism, but I do. I’ve had not one, but THREE butterflies fly in front of my face in the past three weeks… I thought “new beginnings!”, “that’s a sign!” after the first one… And now I’m convinced. The last one flew by me on the final day of my “do nothing” vacation.

I have to believe that good things also come in threes… And that I am closing in on all the good and new beginnings that are meant to come my way (both professional *and* personal). Cheers to the art of doing nothing and the fantastic things that will come after mastering that art (oh, and I did this week – cheers to me:-)

A Post-Katrina New Orleans

This amazing city of New Orleans has so much to offer, and has been through SO MUCH.

There are many significant world events that people often refer to as a measure of time. Pre-war is one…  Although, I recently called the building I live in a “pre-war” building and I had someone ask me “Which war?” Now, I think they were kidding (I hope they were), because obviously that term is used to refer to pre-WWI, but it struck me when I was in New Orleans recently when I heard locals referring to “Pre-Katrina” as a measure of time. It was just in the course of conversation, but it really is like living in a post-war time period for them.


Quick Trip
Photo credit: TripAdvisor.com

I was only in New Orleans for 44 hours, but I managed to squeeze in a whole lot of amazing NOLA experiences in that amount of time! As soon as I got there, I headed over to Mardi Gras World where the IEEE SuperComputing Convention was having their closing party

Mardi Gras World stores the Mardi Gras floats for many of the MG Krewes. I have been there before, but this time it was great to see the Saints SuperBowl parade float and to also see four floats that were totally white, about to be painted anew for the ’11 Mardi Gras! 


Work to Do

The next morning I had an appointment to meet with a meeting planner to see his show that was also in town this week; I bid on this one and lost, but I’m hoping for the opportunity to bid again in the future and it’s helpful when you can see it first-hand. I then did some work back at the hotel and headed to Mother’s for lunch! This restaurant is iconic in NOLA and many a Facebook friend was jealous of the good eats I was enjoying. 

Charity & Fun

I then headed over to the RiverWalk Mall where I bought a dress for a benefit I was invited to that evening. I then sent out a proposal that was due that day and headed with my local friends Cheryn and Meg to a benefit for Multiple Sclerosis. There was a TON of art and excellent items in the silent and live auctions that evening, all to benefit an amazing organization. The band was SO GOOD and the food was amazing. The bonus fun? Archie Manning and his Delta Gamma wife Olivia were there (I did not bother them!) and their eldest son Cooper was the Auctioneer for the live auction. Cooper is FUNNY! He was also inappropriate at times (seemed he knew most of the crowd), but he did a really good job. I joked that I should trip Archie because of what he pulled with the Chargers and Eli’s draft, but… I didn’t :-). What a fun, unexpected night!


Photo Credit: NationalGeographic.com

But the best part of the trip was having the opportunity to help plant Wetlands while there. Cheryn was planning to go to this event arranged by the Young Leadership Council, and the only reason I wouldn’t go would be so I could sleep in… and that sure didn’t seem like a good enough reason. I learned quite a bit from a woman from the LSU AgCenter who helps run the Wetland Center in City Park. This park is in Metairie, which is a suburb right next to New Orleans and it was completely under water because of Katrina. 

The storm completely changed the park! The treeline changed and the grass was ruined. Our task on this morning was to plant and replant different types of individual sprouts of grass in individual pots where they are nurtured and grow. This grass is what makes up the wetlands; they act as a vital buffer protecting land from storms coming in from offshore. Check out this article for more details: http://dirt.asla.org/2010/09/21/restoring-wetlands-to-save-the-gulf/


I hadn’t done anything to help this city that I love so much up until now, so I’m SO happy I had this opportunity!








As I worked alongside these young people who live in New Orleans, they spoke about what they do for a living and with each person it evolved into a conversation that involves Katrina. This horrible storm is now part of the fabric of who they are… Everyone has a story about where they were, where they went post-storm, and when and why they came back. New Orleans becomes a part of who you are and now Katrina is woven into that fabric. I pray there isn’t another war story like this in our lifetime, but in the meantime, the levies are NOT the only things that need to be fixed! The Wetlands must continue to be restored—how amazing that grass can be so powerful, right? 

If you plan on visiting New Orleans any time soon, why not do a little something to give back while you’re there? No volunteers can help with anything related to the oil spill, but you can help to restore the Wetlands! Check out this Web page and reach out if you can lend any of your time while there: http://www.volunteermatch.org/search/opp713050.jsp


And then reward yourself with the fantastic food, drink, and music this city is so famous for!



The “GREENING” of Our World… Overkill or Necessary?

I am right there with those of you who feel the words “green”, “sustainability” and “corporate social responsibility” (CSR) are over-used. I frequently find people using these terms simply as buzzwords to try and sound like they know what they’re talking about, but there typically isn’t much depth to what they are saying. I don’t know what the solution is because what’s at the heart of it is SO important, but I thought it was worth exploring. More often than not, all of these things are better for our environment in terms of what we are not destroying at the expense of the product (trees, for example) or in the energy they are saving and, in the long run, they will save you money. You might make a larger initial investment in windows/doors, for example, than you would have, but you will come out ahead in the long run. I attended the GREENBUILD Convention and Exposition today (www.usgbc.org) and I was completely amazed at how HUGE the tradeshow floor was and how many different types of products there are that are “green” building materials. Seriously, the variety of insulation, doors and windows that will help save energy (saving you money, while being “socially responsible”), types of flooring you can use made from recycled materials, TOILETS that will help you save water (they look pretty cool too), LED light bulbs (planned obsolescence still exists here, but your lights will be cheaper to use and you won’t have to replace them *quite* as often :-), and on and on.
 
Perhaps we need to stop using the word “green” and find a better, more descriptive word. The meetings industry in particular is one of the most wasteful industries in existence. But I know personally that I sort of glaze over when I see that word in the title of a session at a meetings industry conference. What new could they possible be talking about that I haven’t already heard? Is there a better word to describe saving our planet in our everyday lives? The number of signs and banners that are created and thrown out for meetings happening every day across the country is staggering. Oracle (www.oracle.com) holds OpenWorld in San Francisco each fall and it’s one of the largest educational conferences (more than 40,000 attendees) in the world and over the years they have become more and more green, which has earned them an award in the industry. The first year that they eliminated water bottles they saved $1 million! Saving that amount of money is awesome, but think about the reduced impact on the planet? They really have blazed a trail and it’s quite impressive to see that they’ve also helped the city of San Francisco to become one of the “greenest” cities in which to hold a meeting. Most signs they have printed are made from recyclable materials, all serve ware is compostable, all left-over food is donated to homeless shelters in San Francisco, and they still serve water, but it’s purified tap water from the city that can be put in their provided (sponsored) container or a compostable cup! Oracle uses digital signage in front of every session room (more than 100 concurrent). And, it took almost an act of God, but they are now also recycling shrink-wrap which was that last bulk item that wasn’t fully recyclable that was the elusive piece of the puzzle. They have done so much more than I just mentioned and each year they make more strides in what they are doing in this area and they deserve to be awarded for it!
 
It’s hard for me to imagine, but the US Green Building Council has only been in existence for nine years. And this industry (including Solar, which is a MAJOR piece of this that has a life of its own – http://www.solarpowerinternational.com/) is the fastest growing industry right now. Attendance and tradeshow participation at these Conventions is growing by leaps and bounds because it’s something that people care about… And it isn’t going away!! Companies will continue to improve the way we build and hopefully cities will adopt the standards being set in this industry as required standards for new developments.
 
But I have a challenge for you: the next time someone tells you they have a CSR program at their company or that they have “green” initiatives, call them out on it! Really make them have to describe to you what they think it is and perhaps it will spark a truly interesting conversation… Perhaps you will end up teaching them something they didn’t know? And then, maybe they won’t throw the terms around if they don’t have the smarts to back it up? Or, better yet, they will do their homework and they’ll be able to have that conversation intelligently.
 
My apartment building has no recycling capabilities currently and it has bothered me ever since I moved in (years ago). I’ve been “doing my part” by separating my bottles and cans and setting them next to my dumpster for the homeless people to pick up, but that doesn’t take into account all of the other items in my trash that aren’t being recycled! I’ve brought it up to the resident manager, but he “blames” the owner for not wanting to spend the money because it’s currently not required by the city for multi-dwelling buildings to have recycling capabilities.
 
Sometimes doing what’s right isn’t always easy, but remember that in the long run it WILL be worth it. I’m going to impress upon the owner of my building  the need for him to provide this to his residents . If he refuses, then I’ll begin putting pressure on the city to require it. I’m pledging to do that… In addition to questioning (in a nice way:-) people who use those buzzwords I mentioned…
 
What are YOU going to do?

What a Week!

What a blessing to be able to travel to DC as often as I do. Thankfully, AV Concepts (www.avconcepts.com) understands how bountiful the opportunities are in DC and how many great relationships I’ve established in the more than two years I’ve been traveling there regularly. After realizing I wasn’t going to move there, my boss agreed to a compromise of going there once per month. Now, it hasn’t been that frequent because that would be impossible with all of the other travel I’m doing between actual shows, site visits, industry conferences, etc… I’m on the road about 50% of the time as it is. But I have been to DC 15 times in the last 26 months and I’m so grateful! Tuesday night was the perfect example… I went to a Potomac Meeting Professionals International (www.pmpi.org) recruitment event and was able to both reconnect with people I hadn’t seen in a while and get to know some people better whom I hadn’t spent much time with! Even better? I was able to continue the evening and go out to dinner with four people – three of which are potential clients!! It would be tremendous to get all three as clients, but even if I don’t… I know they are friends. I’m reading a book right now called It’s Not Just Who You Know by Tommy Spaulding and he talks about the concept of Return on Relationship or ROR. Your ROR may come when you expect it, but it could come when you least expect it. There is so much value in making connections with every person you interact with because of that potential for the ROR. Getting a referral from someone who didn’t hire me is a perfect example of that (that happened recently with one of my DC contacts). The more people I meet, the more valuable connections I will make and this will potentially come back to me in the form of new business! Lord knows I love to win, but I’m learning there can absolutely be positives even when I don’t get a “W”.

Of course, it’s not earth shattering news that business is all about relationships, but I think it’s nice to be reminded and this concept of ROR is a fantastic one. I’m so fortunate to have built the relationships I have over the years and those in DC are especially great— all of these connections make me feel like I’m “home” when I’m there. I might not be happy with my sales results as of late (despite being ahead of goal for the 2nd year in-a-row with AVC), but I need to remember that all the work I’ve been doing, and those connections that I’ve made, have established a foundation that WILL pay off :->.

I’m a lucky girl!

The Jury is Not Out, But I Am

It’s SO interesting the reaction you get from people when you tell them you have jury duty! About 80% of the people tell me to make racist comments or to do something that would “get me out of it”… I typically just laugh it off, but today I feel like saying something about it. It truly is our “civic duty”! Honestly, wouldn’t you want the best possible mix of people – a true “jury of your peers” if you had to go to trial? I’m sure you’re thinking, but I would never end up in a situation where I needed a trial. But how do you know that? You might just be someone whom a crime has been committed against. And then FOR SURE you’re going to want a good jury and it’s your constitutional right – it’s OUR constitutional right to have a fair and speedy trial, with a jury of our peers. So why is it that people are so anti-jury duty? I would argue that you’re probably only anti-jury if you’ve never served on one. I served on a criminal trial several years ago and it was one of the most fascinating experiences of my life. I find the whole justice system to be so very interesting. We did convict this person of Robbery, Kidnap for Robbery, Car-jacking, felony possession of a firearm, evading… and one other count. Six counts in all and the trial was pretty quick because the defense didn’t have much of a defense. It did not feel good to convict him, but it really did feel good to take part in the process. The US legal system is a good one.
I will admit that all of the waiting around can be frustrating and a true test of patience and the two days I spent at the San Diego Courthouse yesterday and today really did test mine. It took almost two full days to get into our department and to have the jury fully picked. I was a part of the gallery (not in the group of 24 people selected) and I did not end up on the jury, but I still enjoyed it.
Next time you get your jury notice, go. And the next time someone tells you they have jury duty tell them good luck or have fun, but try not to tell them how to get out of it. You will learn something about how our justice system works, you will be fulfilling your civic duty, and you might even make a friend – I did!

No One Wants to Plan It… or Have to Go

The experience of a memorial service is always hard. And when it’s your brother, it’s even harder. One for a sibling was a first for me, but it was the 5th memorial in 16 months that I’ve had to attend. Enough already. Yesterday it was a service where no one was sure if they could speak on Terry’s behalf… whether they could actually get the words out. I couldn’t let that happen, so I found a song called “Fly” that I thought was a great representation of the situation and hoped that I could get through it.  With his love of music, it seemed appropriate to read lyrics… though not a Beatles song, which he would have appreciated even more. And then his best friend of 43 years managed to say some lovely words about Terry and his love for him. It was a wonderful day of a gathering of friends and family who hadn’t seen each other in a long, long time. And now it’s our task to keep Terry alive in our hearts with all of the great memories we have. Easier said than done, but hopefully concentrating on remembering all the good stuff will help the healing process.
Lyrics to “Fly”, by Celine Dion

Fly, fly little wing
Fly beyond imagining
The softest cloud, the whitest dove
Upon the wind of heaven’s love
Past the planets and the stars
Leave this lonely world of ours
Escape the sorrow and the pain
And fly again

Fly, fly precious one
Your endless journey has begun
Take your gentle happiness
Far too beautiful for this
Cross over to the other shore
There is peace forevermore
But hold this mem’ry bittersweet
Until we meet

Fly, fly do not fear
Don’t waste a breath, don’t shed a tear
Your heart is pure, your soul is free
Be on your way, don’t wait for me
Above the universe you’ll climb
On beyond the hands of time
The moon will rise, the sun will set
But I won’t forget

Fly, fly little wing
Fly where only angels sing
Fly away, the time is right
Go now, find the light