Becoming a Writer… Again

As I started this blog I didn’t give myself expectations of how often I would write. I decided at some point (after I felt bad about not writing for a while) that I should write only when truly inspired… And the days of feeling guilty about something like that should be over. After all, I want to keep the interest of those who might be reading (hoping some people would read it!) and in some small way I suppose I want to make a difference with what I write. That might sound a bit obvious, but it only recently occurred to me that this is part of my motivation for writing.

As I study for the entrance exam for the master’s program I’m applying for (the Miller Analogies Test, or MAT), I’m revisiting names of authors I read — or should have read! — as an English major, and I’m reminded that being able to write is a gift. I wonder if it’s a gift I neglected for far too long or if I returned to it just in time within my journey? This blog has been a professional and personal journey so far and I believe it re-stoked my desire to go back to school. It has done that, but it has also done so much more…

With hesitation, I let my Mom read the entry I wrote right after my brother Terry passed away in October. I knew it would make her cry. It did. But then she said “Well, maybe it will help someone”, which was something I hadn’t thought a lot about. I wrote it because it was cathartic for me and it was a way to let those people close to me know about something my family and I were going through. I got an email from a close friend this past week who told me that my story about Terry has helped her in her recovery as an alcoholic… Wow. Of course, that made me cry! She said she hoped in some small way that that would give me and my family some peace that his loss was not in vein. It absolutely does.

I’m so excited when I’m inspired to write. And if what I write and my experiences have a positive effect on just one person, then I am truly blessed. I am blessed to have become a writer… Again. I truly hope and pray that I am accepted into this Master of Arts in Communication & Leadership program because I do believe it will help me continue to learn and grow and to make a difference.

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