Category Archives: communication

Relationships Matter – An Open Thank You Letter

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I’m not alone in calling Jessika Phillips a soul sister, but my (core) reason might be a bit different Photo of Megan Powers and Jessika Phillips at SMMW19 from others. It’s a little unorthodox to write a thank you letter openly as a blog post, but the more I thought about it, the more I thought there are some killer lessons to be learned from this gratitude.

So, here we go!

Jessika, I’m pretty sure I saw you speak before (I knew) we had mutual friends. Your talk was about relationship marketing and I had to be there to see if your viewpoint was in line with mine. I used to be in sales in the event space — first in a venue and then in audio visual production. I happened upon sales by accident, but I was pretty good at it. One thing I never did, though, was cold call or what I like to call “dialing for dollars.” 

See, I learned early on that I could attend industry conferences and networking events, and meet people who could become customers. I was strategic in which events I went to and with whom I (intentionally) spoke, but I never overtly sold to them. I established a relationship – they would learn what I do – and one day we might get an opportunity to work together (I built a $2.5 million book of business this way, btw).

RELATIONSHIPS Matter

Of course they matter because that’s how you build trust. A highly respected consultant in the AV space said once that people who claim they are “relationship sales people” are kidding themselves (I’m paraphrasing). Now, of course there was more dimension to the discussion, but I’ll never forget reading that and thinking – nah, not if you do it right.

THANK YOU, Jessika, for articulating the C.A.R.E. approach: “Capture Attention, Articulate Message, Relationships (for repeat and referral business), and Exceptional Experience” in your talks.

I was delighted to hear this was recognized as “a real thing” in marketing also, as I had seen it work for me first-hand in sales.

RETURN on Relationships

About 11 years ago I read a book called It’s Not Just Who You Know by Tommy Spaulding. He talks about “relationship economics” or “relationship capital.” There are many levels to this (too much to get into in a thank you note!), but at the heart of it is what you teach, Jessika. One quote from his book highlights it well: “…it’s never been more important to figure out how an organization can give more than lip service to the idea of building a culture that values authentic relationships, because relationships have become the currency of the modern economy.” 

I know I’ve heard you say a version of this, and it’s remarkable how you not only walk the walk yourself, but you have built a culture in your company NOW Marketing Group where everyone is on board with this concept. And as an event professional myself, I was beyond impressed earlier this month to see how you built this concept and feeling into your conference, Social Media Week Lima (SMWL).

Your company, your event, your personal brand — they have all expanded because of who you are. Because you not only live in authenticity, empathy, curiosity, and gratitude, but you make those around you want to live in these too.

THANK YOU for proving that relationships matter, but also that we need to nurture them.

STORIES Matter

The Memory Jog slide from Chad Illa-Peterson's talk at SMWL21As Chad Illa-Peterson gave his talk at #SMWL21 on how we all have stories within us, he shared that our stories are our unique selling proposition. He provided some exercises we can do to work our creative storytelling muscles. After one of the exercises he shared I found myself thinking about how, exactly, I ended up in that event center in Lima, Ohio.

In brief (succinctly going back ~9 years)…

    • I worked for a non-profit where I needed to learn more about social media
    • I joined the San Diego Social Media Club 
    • The club had an event at a restaurant owned by a group I had worked for
    • I approached them and won the business (managed their marketing for 6.5 years)
    • Club members talked about an event – Social Media Marketing World (SMMW) in ’13
    • I attended SMMW14 where I made a ton of friends I still have today
    • I met Phil Mershon (SME’s SMMW Director of Events) in ’15 at the Corporate Event Marketing Association (CEMA) Summit, and shared I had attended his event for the past two years
    • I got to know Phil and helped him with his audio visual production selection for the following year
    • I volunteered on the SMMW Community team, working under Jen Cole in ’17, and a wonderful friendship was formed
    • Jen and I started a marketing podcast with our friend Elizabeth in August of ’17
    • Jessika Phillips was referred to have on the podcast–and our relationship started
    • I got to know Jessika and this extended group of amazing friends over the years
    • Jessika hosted a networking event she invited me to at SMMW
    • I kept hearing about what a great experience SMWL was, but wouldn’t make 2020
    • 2020 happened and #SMWL20 did not
    • Jessika hosted me at #SMWL21
    • I made a handful of new contacts & friends – new relationships… What’s next?

CUMULATIVE Advantage

Margo, Ali, and Megan holding Mark Schaefer's Cumulative Advantage booksAnother cool thing that happened at SMWL — Chad gifted me a signed copy of Mark Schaefer’s new book Cumulative Advantage. As I read this book, I can’t help but think it’s these relationships I’ve built over time that are cumulative. Those relationships I built while in sales? They are exactly what led to the success of my own business for almost eight years now! “Success is a collision of events” is one section of the book (in chapter two). I was able to build and maintain a successful business because almost all of my clients came by referral from this accumulation of relationships.

Of course, I wasn’t thinking about it in this exact way at the time, but I built relationships and did good work… Looking back, Mark has also made me realize I took specific actions to “sway serendipitous fate” in my favor. I intentionally built relationships, hoping they would bring me business in the short term, while knowing it was about more than that (even back then).

THANK YOU for bringing this incredible group of people together.

EVENTS In Person – They Hit Different

I nurtured existing friendships. I have a dozen new friends. I have several new podcast guests. And I have some potential for new business relationships. This happened because you brought us together and you enabled me to be there! 

Jennifer Watson on stage at SMWL21Jessika, you also put together a rockstar speaker lineup. I didn’t leave with a long list of tactics to put into place, but almost every speaker got me thinking — truly thinking — about how to move forward on goals I’m setting for myself.

Relationships are only as good as the work we put into them — we have to nurture them. Environments that meetings and events afford us provide the framework, but it’s the people who Chad Illa-Peterson on stage teaching about storytellingtruly make experiences memorable.

THANK YOU for all you do to teach about relationship marketing and for what you do to bring people together. I look forward to speaking with you and Mike Gingerich LIVE on Magnet Marketers on September 28th to explore exactly how events bring us together, and enable us to establish and nurture relationships.

I think this quote by Priya Parker from her book The Art of Gathering puts your event perfectly:
“A gathering run on generous authority is run with a strong, confident hand, but it is run selflessly, for the sake of others.” 

INDEED.

P.S. For those of you who are reading this (who aren’t Jessika)…

If you aren’t yet convinced relationships have a HUGE role in our marketing (nee, business), then you should sign up for this cool relationship marketing managers thing she has going.

Increase Profit and Innovation Through Inclusivity

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Diversity. Equity. Inclusion.

These are all words that have become part of our lexicon. They should have always been important and common, of course, and in recent years they have been amplified.

Never before had I heard someone put it in dollars and cents… In easy to understand terms where we not only have a better appreciation, but we also get true clarity on inclusion… Someone who clearly articulated we should show ourselves grace.

Melissa Majors is that person!

Behind the scenes image of Megan and Jen hosting episode 84 of the Making a Marketer podcast with Melissa Majors

BTS view of us recording the show using Restream.io!

Melissa spoke at Global Meetings Industry Day this year and I knew in a matter of minutes that I wanted to have her on my Making a Marketer podcast. While my podcast is “for marketers,” just about every episode has value for those who work in business in any capacity. We made a concerted effort starting with season four to bring more diversity of look, voice, and thought to the show.

Which makes Melissa the perfect person as our final guest of season four.

“Growth-minded leaders recognize that inclusion is much more than a moral obligation; it’s a competitive advantage.”

Melissa shared a stat from Mackenzie and Company, which has been conducting research “to isolate the impact of inclusion on the bottom-line for businesses.” What they found is businesses that are the most inclusive are outperforming their competition with 49% higher profitability.

Wouldn’t you take almost a 50% higher margin for doing the right thing? Any company that wants to remain (or get) successful would.

Differences Between Diversity, Equity, & Inclusion

“…it’s over engineered; everybody kind of lumps it all into one big thing… Diversity is variety. Equity is making sure people have what they need to thrive. And inclusion is involving others equally. Inclusion is action.”

Breaking it down like she does helps us to better understand how DEI should be viewed.

“So I am a big believer in not making people feel guilty for who they are, and their inherent beliefs. And I think at times, also, we have a tendency to vilify people who are in power right now. And so I’m really intentional about trying not to do that.”

This perspective from Melissa is so useful to those people who feel guilt.

When Hiring or Looking for Work

Just as I need to show myself grace in the process, Melissa helps us understand we need to show grace in understanding the pace of things. AND that we can make a difference from the inside of organizations that still might need to make change.

One of the seven categories of leadership where true change can happen is through the hiring process. I’ve written about hiring for culture over skill set because “anyone can learn a skill,” but it turns out that’s how people are typically excluded.

“So our brain is naturally wired to prefer familiarity… we like to be comfortable, we like to be surrounded and build teams where there’s going to be camaraderie and people fit in. But what we know is that more diverse teams are outperforming homogeneous teams, because they have different perspectives and viewpoints.”

It turns out this also makes for more innovative teams! So, the moral of that part of this story is to hire forA lightbulb graphic difference and not familiarity. *Light bulb*!

Keeping Unconscious Biases at Bay

This brings about the topic of biases–we ALL have them.

“So embrace your bias, don’t deny they exist. And when you do that, you’ll be able to mitigate those biases from controlling your actions.”

Being aware of biases and making incremental changes based on these realizations will help each of us — and the organizations we are involved with — become more and more inclusive.

“But when you embrace your bias, you can start to identify patterns of your bias and who you might be prejudiced toward.”

Bottom Line: This is Content We All Need

On Making a Marketer we really love evergreen content, so no matter how long ago we recorded an episode, you can listen back! Or new listeners can find any topic they are interested in and benefit from it regardless of the timing.

The advice and information shared on this show is absolutely one of our most important. Not only one of the best, but the most important. Every human should read Melissa’s book! I reached out to get her scheduled before I even knew she had a book coming out, and I was delighted she did.

It will be one of the most important books we read this year. Listen to the show – or watch the video – and you’ll be motivated to get the book too: The 7 Simple Habits of Inclusive Leaders.

What are you doing in your organization and circles to promote inclusiveness?

Goal-Setting & Forward-Looking = KEYS to Success

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Are you a goal setter? Of course, closing one year and embarking on another is always a time to reflect and goal set (notice it’s “goals” and not resolutions?). Here I’m putting a focus on five KEY things that will make professionals (those in events and beyond) more productive in the new year.

Sometimes we can also use a little boost to get our goal-setting kicked into gear.

5 Steps to Productivity

1) Keep self-care at the top of your list of priorities.

One of the reasons event professionals tend to be so stressed is because we’re traveling so much. Being a road warrior takes its toll, so it’s important we remember to make our own self-care a priority! Eating well while traveling can really be difficult, but here’s an article for busy event professionals that will help you make some better choices. Using your hotel’s gym seems impossible, but setting an achievable goal of getting in there for just 20-30 minutes every other day (of course, daily if you can!) will make a huge difference in how you feel (and sleep). These things are a bit easier when we’re home, but keeping them in mind on a regular basis will help make this self-care a HABIT.

2) Make at least one new professional contact per week.

We all receive regular LinkedIn invites from people we may or may not know. But are you a passive networker? What if you took the time to explore LinkedIn — and maybe even Twitter (#EventProfs) — in search of professionals you could be connected to? It will make you literally more connected within our community, and will also expand the resources available to you on both the planner and supplier sides of the business. We can learn from both sides, and having contacts provides us with resources when we need them! When I plan events finding vendors whom I can trust is a challenge. Having planner friends who can refer vendors to me is important, but it’s also important to keep a running list for when those opportunities present themselves (currently wishing I had kept my rental company contacts from “back when” as I wrote this).

3) Have your organization’s end-goals in mind, but also focus on your own personal professional goals.

When we work for a corporation or association it’s normal to focus on what the organization’s goals are, in addition to the goals that might have been set for us in our annual reviews. The best advice I’ve received is from friends who are life or business coaches, or have had their own business for a while: it’s key to also focus on our own personal goals. What is the average lifespan of a job these days? Fewer than five-years, depending on your age, is typical. That means your own personal professional goals should stay just as important to you as your organizations. We’ve all reached that point professionally when we’re ready to move on, but then we feel stuck… setting goals and priorities for yourself can help keep you focused and prepared for when it’s time for a change. It turns out having a “sense of purpose” also leads to getting better sleep, so this could help you there also.

4) Read at least one industry article per week that will enhance the work you’re doing.

We see the “top influencer” lists, “top 40 under 40,” etc. that come out each year. What these folks have in common is this: they share great content. Some of them are also writing/contributing great content with the industry, but mostly they are sharing the awesome articles that have been written by other individuals or organizations (each other in many cases). Unique spins on information we already read about is hard to find, but it’s out there! Taking the time to read about what’s happening in our industry will help keep your focus forward. There’s so much great content out there that can help us in our jobs, and it also helps us as individuals to focus on what’s important.

5) Use a project management tool to increase collaboration and efficiency in your planning.

Are you using anything that helps you and your team focus on what tasks need to be done in planning your meetings and events? Do you find that maybe you’re using several different programs or systems that don’t talk to each other… and then you wonder where your team is in terms of accomplishing tasks and goals? If you aren’t already using a cloud-based tool to help you collaborate with your team AND your vendors, now is the perfect time to consider making a change. Having a system in place that enables everyone to see what they need to see, while including the proper files (and most up-to-date versions!!) in one central place online, not only prevents everyone from hunting-and-pecking for the info, but makes the planning process more clear. Having a 20-tab excel matrix might be “comfortable” because you’ve been using it for so long, but expanding into a project management program will enable you to shrink those docs, and help get every stakeholder on the same page (LITERALLY).

 

Top Tool Suggestions:

Redbook has a very nice interface, enabling users to sort tasks, keep detailed productivity reports, keep visual project timelines, and hold teammates accountable. It has integration with Zoom so you can hold video meetings, email plugins from Outlook and Gmail, and integrations with Box, Dropbox, Slack, Google Drive, and more.

Time Doctor enables you to not only track time spent on specific clients or projects, but it also has integration with a ton of tools you’re likely already using such as Google Drive, Slack, FreshBooks, Podio, Asana, Basecamp, and more.

Proofhub is a great alternative to the “big” tools like Basecamp, Wrike, TeamWork, Asana, and Trello. They even have comparisons of their tool to each of these explained on their Website. It has project templates, chat, discussions, time tracking, a calendar, Workflows and kanban boards, and reporting. They also have some key integrations that will streamline your workflow!  

This isn’t an exhaustive list, but it’s a great start! It’s a way to get our minds brewing on some of the things we all struggle with as professionals, whether you’re working in the meetings and events industry or beyond.

What if you posted this list next to your computer? It’s likely it would help you focus on honing in on the goals you’ve set. Focusing, thinking, and executing on these things will also help you feel more accomplished… And that’s something we can ALL appreciate in our daily lives (both professional and personal).

Prioritize. Ponder. Perform… Repeat.

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Time Doctor blog post with a TON of tools summarized.
Proofhub has also provided a great post with a tool summary.

Getting Real and Being Real – Is it all Rainbows and Unicorns?

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It’s difficult, I think, for folks who have never experienced any turmoil or adversity in their lives to understand just what it takes to persevere. I had a boyfriend during an extremely stressful time in my life who had never experienced any loss — of a job or otherwise. He couldn’t relate, and all he could do was to tell me not to be stressed.

I just watched a vlog – Day 118 on his road to 300 – by Demian Ross. He had a different plan for the video, but it took a turn to a really personal story for him. A REAL story about the real, not-so-positive-life-turn for him a couple of years ago.

This video got me thinking about my own situation and low times for me in the past. Things are not always rainbows and unicorns, and it helps to share realness, because it shows people they aren’t alone.

Social media does tend to be this place where we show the good. People will assume all is well and perfect if all you ever show appears perfect. Clearly, everything is not always good!

Background…

In 2001 I was laid-off from a dot-com. I made it through three layoffs, but couldn’t escape the fourth. Three months earlier I had to be out of an apartment I was renting because our lease was up, and my roommate and I were both moving on. I was in the process of buying a condo, but hadn’t closed yet, so I stored my stuff and was living with my boyfriend for what was supposed to be a few weeks. Well, the sellers ended up taking it off the market!

Needless to say, it seemed I was “lucky” I didn’t get that condo, but now I was jobless AND homeless. It was the beginning of 2.5 years of my belongings being in storage, and me living with friends and family. I was unemployed or underemployed for most of that time before things finally came together for me. It was a daily struggle of trying to make ends meet. Of relying on others to help me.

People I’ve worked with since then can’t believe I went through that–that I managed to get to where I was, despite that. At the time friends would say to me “I don’t know how you’re doing it”… my response was I had no choice! I was simply dealing, continuing to look for work, and taking each day as it came (ending with having three jobs at once before finally moving into my own home again).

Cut to today…

I’ve had my business for nearly five years, and the past three months have been particularly difficult. The loss of a large client who shut down his company. Flakey potential new clients. Hopes being raised and then dashed over and over. Verbal agreement for new business, which was then taken away. While I’m not in the same spot I was in 17 years ago, I am in a low. Struggling financially is not unusual for business owners, this I know! It has had me wondering how much to share… do I remain optimistic or do I share the hardships?

I did just take a very big vacation — it was planned and about 2/3’s of it was already paid for (before losing the big client), so I went anyway. But I know how it looks… it looks like I’m flush!

I did try to make the absolute most of it, including soaking it all in as I am in this photo.

 

What’s the lesson?

That you never know what people are really going through. If you didn’t know Demian’s story before today (and he only shared part of it), you would never think such a funny, smart dude would have gone through what he has so recently.

If I only post the positive, everyone will continue to believe all is positive.

I know things will get better… I know there are some amazing businesses out there that will benefit from my skills and experience to help them improve their communication and sales!

If you’re struggling, you’re not alone. If you need someone to lend an ear, reach out. We’re not alone, and support from others will help us all.

Best of luck!

Would You Prefer a Conference or an Unconference Experience?

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As I head into one of the most fun, most inspiring, most-learning-filled conferences (and weeks) of the year, it’s caused some reflection about Social Media Marketing World (SMMW), and what makes a conference great.

I also attended an amazing UN-Conference not too long ago, so I thought I’d write about what this un-conference is all about… and what the KEY things are that make #SMMW18 great.

This is my 5th year attending SMMW, and as someone who has worked in the meetings and events industry, I think I’ve attended upwards of 75 conferences in my career. I know what makes one great. Here I’m offering four ways this one does it right.

THE SMMW Conference

CONNECTIONS
SO helpful. Of the utmost importance for this show is helping every single attendee make the connections they’re looking for while they’re there. This effort starts in earnest before anyone gets to the convention center… WAY before. There’s a LinkedIn group for those who are registered, there’s a Facebook event where any attendee or prospect can engage with each other and the team. There are dozens of Slack channels. There are people managing the hashtag via Twitter and Instagram. There’s a dine-around sign-up to give folks an opportunity to connect with others in their space before even arriving at the conference. There’s an army of people dedicated to making sure everyone knows what they need to know, that they feel included, and feel welcome before they even arrive. They also have networking tables during lunch where everyone can chat with each other about their area of interest.

RESOURCES
In abundance. The company that puts on the show is Social Media Examiner (SME). SME does have a staff, but they also have a HUGE army of volunteers who engage with the community via all the different channels. Different staffers oversee the volunteers, and it all seems to work like a symphony. The volunteers are involved in managing the different channels in advance of the show, but they’re also the “boots on the ground” getting you registered, acting as human signage, overseeing each breakout room, etc. Needless to say, SME is also incredibly engaging via every single social media channel and Slack. It’s what they do, so it should go without saying, but so many conferences get this wrong (still)!

CONTENT
High quality. This actually goes hand-in-hand with resources, but it’s worth its own place in the list. Listen, this social media business is all so new, and EVER-changing. No one person can claim they know it all. We’re (in large part) at the mercy of the platform owners like Facebook, Twitter, and SnapChat, to name a few. Social Media Examiner’s business is to stay on top of it, and they do throughout the year with staffers like Erik Fisher and Jeff Sieh hopping on Facebook Live sometimes several times per week to break the news… and discuss what the implications are for all of us. They then parlay that into VERY carefully curating which speakers will provide the content at SMMW. You can’t really apply to speak–they ask those they see making a difference out there in the industry. Like with the most recent “Facebook apocalypse,” for example–they determined Brian Fanzo was the one who should speak on this in recent weeks, but it wasn’t on the original schedule. Being able to pivot like that is crucial in this business, and they do!

FEEDBACK
Taken seriously. I met the Event Director Phil Mershon a few years ago at the Corporate Event Marketing Association (CEMA) Summit. I shared with him I had attended the previous year, and he asked me for my feedback on the event… he has continued to ask for feedback from me and others, and I regularly see our suggestions implemented. They also survey all attendees, and I know they take it all to heart. This is only the 6th year SMMW has been held, and it’s improved incrementally every year because they care what the attendees think. As someone who has attended SO MANY conferences, this is unusual, and is probably the key reason it continues to be so good.

Haute Dokimazo

At the other end of the spectrum of a conference like SMMW is Haute Dokimazo (HD). Sounds like a Japanese meal, right? This is what some will refer to as an “un-conference,” which was created to throw all ways of planning a conference out the window. Equally awesome! And let me tell you why.

UNIQUE
Inspired founders. The three founders of this event are all event industry veterans. As one of them–Liz Lathan–said about it, “It occurred to us one day that the best part of conferences is the coffee breaks.” In other words, the moments you get speaking to people between the content often times is where there’s the most value. So they set out to create a unique event that’s all “coffee break”! They also decided to keep it to just 100 people, with the goal of having an even split between “brand” people and “suppliers.”

INNOVATIVE
Curated content. We were all given the chance to write topics that we were interested in exploring on giant post-its, in addition to offering to facilitate anything we are interested in/informed on. There were a few sessions pre-arranged, which were held while the event organizers mined through all of the post-its to determine our sessions for the following day. All of the content was exactly what we all wanted to explore. Brilliant!

EQUALLING
No pretense. Part of the magic about HD is that we’re all wearing name tags that have just our first name on them. There’s no distinction between who’s a “buyer” and who’s a “seller.” As Annette Gregg stated, it was nice to be in an environment where there were no “sharks and minnows.” We all spoke to everyone and interacted because we were all after the same thing–simply making connections and learning from each other. I’ve never felt such a warm and inviting environment at a conference prior to this.

INSPIRATIONAL
Genuine joy. The event started with lunch… And rather than waiting in a line to get our badges for the conference, we put our first name on a “Hello my name is” tag, and were guided to a table where our host introduced us to everyone at the table. Instantly we got to know those at our table before we eventually made our way to the Children’s Museum–an incredibly fun and inspirational venue for a “conference.” At the end of the second day we then had the opportunity to share with everyone all of the positives and negatives of the event. It was incredible to give feedback in real-time vs. filling out a survey! We all left this event better people and professionals than when we arrived.

You can also listen to the Making a Marketer podcast to hear two of the founders of HD talk about its origin, and what it’s all about.

These two events are so VERY different, and equally amazing in their own ways. If you have the opportunity to go to either — or both — I highly recommend it! You’ll leave both events with new contacts and new friends. I guarantee it.

Just Jump

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It’s been a really interesting seven months for me both personally and professionally. In September I was struck with the sudden reality that my parents will not always be in my life. Of course, I knew this already, but when you learn your Mom is being tested for lung cancer, it puts that reality right in front of you. And it sparks a whole current of change.

Then learning she’s terminal, and that Dad’s dementia is worse than we knew? Devastating. Of course, the weeks and months that followed have been really, really hard, with a ton of change for everyone in the family. A tremendous amount of loss.

Concurrently, my business has been doing really well. For more than 2.5 years I’ve had a marketing consulting business — a sole proprietorship that’s been steady. I’ve had a couple of peaks, but it’s mostly been consistent. Then suddenly in the span of four weeks this spring I had four separate inquiries and referrals for new business. Now, there are only so many hours in a day, so this pushed me to decide whether to take on new business and hire (previous contractors) to work for me on a regular basis.

Next level. I didn’t intend on having a corporation, but helping new businesses tackle their marketing and communication challenges, and growing my company, became a really interesting concept! I love a challenge, and new clients bring with them new opportunities to grow both mentally and financially.

43 Meter Jump… 141+ Feet!

So I jumped. There’s irony in the timing, too, because I just realized today is the one year anniversary of my first bungy jump off the Kawarau Bridge in New Zealand — the birthplace of the bungy. A metaphor for how I’ve chosen to approach life in general, and now also in business. With the bungy decision I didn’t think about “what if something goes wrong?” I just knew it would be exhilarating, and that would be the payoff.

I’ve filed incorporation papers! I’ve hired a graphic designer to create a real logo and assets for me! I’m putting all the pieces in place that will support a successful business, including hiring staff, and shopping for admin tools we should be using. This. Is. Real.

Exciting times! And terrifying. And exhilarating! And uncertain. But that’s all part of the adventure–if I don’t jump, I’ll never know. I’ve written before about being a “doer”… Which is a touch different than jumping into the unknown. The only way to stretch ourselves, and see where it will take us is to jump.

It’s not about having no fear, but considering “what’s the worst thing that could happen?” It might not work out the way I’m envisioning, but if I don’t try I’ll never know. It’s important to own the fear, but to do it anyway. Because it might just be the best choice I’ve ever made.

I’ve para-glided in Switzerland. I’ve skydived in San Diego. I’ve bungy-jumped in New Zealand. And now I’ve incorporated. Mom would be really proud. Let’s do this!!!

In case you’d like to see the jump video (complete w/gleeful scream)… CLICK HERE! 

Has Social Media Made us Less Connected?

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This notion is not new. Ever since social media emerged, we’ve heard that “we’ve never been so well connected, and yet so out of touch with each other.” Communication studies focus on all different aspects of this. More studies are trying to prove it’s improved our lives, but I’ve had some really interesting conversations recently, so I thought I’d post about it.

A few thoughts to explore…
1. Are we truly connected because of social media, and are you not being honest if you don’t share everything?
2. Is it a good or bad thing that people mostly only share the good stuff?
3. Has live-streaming (Periscope, Meerkat, Blab) changed the game on our ability to truly connect in real-time socially (putting the “social” in social media)?

Honesty (1): In the “beginning” it was so amazing to be connected to people I hadn’t seen in YEARS—first on LinkedIn with former co-workers, and then on Facebook with people I’ve been friends with throughout life. I’ve seen people face-to-face on business trips who I had been reunited with online, and I’ve continued friendships online that I developed in my travels… And it’s been awesome!

But after a while the shiny element wore off a bit, and it turned to some people sharing everything about their everyday lives. Is there such a thing as being too authentic? I’m not discounting people who share things that aren’t awesome, but are you being honest, and is what you’re sharing adding any value to your follower’s lives (or your own)? I don’t know the answer… But I do know that many of my friends who have been on Facebook are certainly interacting MUCH less than they used to, and some have abandoned it all together. The reasons vary, but I think it’s mostly because they grew tired of the over-sharing or extreme opinions that are different from their own.

I travel a bit, and it got to a point that people made me feel like I was bragging by posting photos of my travels. Their comments may have been in gest, but like most jokes, there’s a motivation there. This caused me to not want to share – but when I told some people that I was holding back, they got mad about it! I know I have some people who want to live vicariously through me, and I enjoy sharing, but I also want my family to know I’m safe (I often travel solo). 

There’s a delusion of connectedness that many of us have… People will tell me when I haven’t seen them for a while that they feel like “they’re all caught up on my life” or that they “see me traveling all over”… And they feel like we’re truly connected because of that. Most of these people proclaim to be lurkers, saying “I just read on Facebook—I don’t like or interact on there.” So, really, they’re only caught up on what I’ve posted that I’ve been doing, and not on ME as a person. AND, this communication has only been one-way. I don’t share everything, and Facebook photos and posts don’t define who I am. They’re fun updates, but they certainly don’t serve as a replacement for spending time face-to-face with my friends and family.

The Good Stuff (2): Facebook is an incredible environment for empathy. I truly believe it’s an environment where people who need it can post and get heartfelt responses from their friends and family. Hopefully it doesn’t back-fire if they don’t get the responses they hope for (FB algorithms constantly changing and all–we don’t see everything). Personally, I choose to not post much about being blue. I have posted when something crazily irritating has happened (luggage being stuck in my taxi’s trunk when on my way OUT of town for the biggest meeting of my career comes to mind!), or when I’m super mad about a customer service issue or something (Verizon). Of course, we’re all individual in our choices.

When my brother Terry passed away I chose to take a couple of days, and then I wrote a blog post. I posted the blog link on Facebook, but I didn’t make a big declaration. I’m not saying it’s bad if you do because everyone has their own journey. My life isn’t all butterflies and unicorns, but does it appear like I’m not portraying my authentic life if I don’t post the good *and* the bad? What are the limits?

Do you feel more connected to people who share the good and the bad, or does it not matter? 

Live-Connectivity(3): I watched a recording of a Blab recently that spoke to the fact that authenticity is now more important than ever in light of the emergence of live-streaming. If you’ve been putting forth a personality or demeanor online that isn’t in line with your true self, you’re sure to be “busted” once you enter the foray of live-streaming.

On a talk show last week Jason Sudeikis said he doesn’t really tweet because  “I, uh, like to tweet in person,” to which the host said “Oh, so you prefer conversations – nice!” I’m inclined right off to say “Don’t we all?” But the reality is everyone isn’t comfortable networking in person with people they don’t know, or putting themselves live on video, whether recorded or live-streaming. This was one of the most interesting angles on communication that I enjoyed in my grad school program… So many people are more communicative and open online because they’re more comfortable behind the computer, but the research varies on whether the same things can be accomplished online that can be accomplished face-to-face.

The results of my thesis on the subject uncovered that people feel a combination of online and face-to-face communication is the best solution as it relates to events. Because there is true value in both, I think live-streaming does a great job of marrying the two. On Blab we’re “face-to-face” with the four people who are in the video squares, and the platform provides the ability to allow different people to pop in and out, giving their input, along with interacting with them in the chat stream.

I think the live-streaming environment provides the chance to get to know people more on a personal level (putting the “social” in social media), but it’s probably not something friends will use to stay connected because of the publicness. As it evolves more and more it will be interesting to see what people use it for both in business and personal life.

Conclusion…
What do you think? Should we filter ourselves in what we’re posting? Everyone is going to use social media in different ways, and everyone gets different value from the interactions we have on there. I personally do think our lives ARE richer as a result of social, but we need to remember to have REAL social interactions with our friends and family—and we shouldn’t assume we “know it all” because of the information we’ve learned from Facebook… There is surely MORE to know and learn about how we’re all doing, and not just WHAT we’re doing.

We can be truly connected in real life, and online.