Category Archives: blog

From Great to Better

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The season of resolutions is in full swing!

We all know a new year is that time people declare as a new start. It’s the opportunity so many see to make a “better effort” with their health or careers or personal lives… It’s natural.

Over the last few years I’ve tried to set goals instead of making “resolutions.” I made an effort to focus on making improvements with my mind, body, and spirit… Of course, it turns out I was a little over-zealous and the sum of the total wasn’t terribly realistic. Like most people at the new year, I had the best of intentions!

2014 was a great year. And so I decided as this new year approaches that I want to take things from great to better.

I know it won’t be easy to measure, but I’ll know it when I feel it, and that works for me! This past year was full of brief trips, seeing family and lots of football, finishing my masters degree, and running my own business. Notice the order I put those in? I have priorities!

It was a great year and my hope is 2015 will be even better. I also wish the same for you.

Be a Doer

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I think there’s an epidemic afoot. This epidemic is called being stuck. What makes people stuck? Part of it is fear. Fear of failure, fear of success (no, really), fear of the unknown… or all of the above.
What I hear from people A LOT is “you’re so lucky” when referring to my travels or the sporting events I attend. Lucky? I struggle with how to take that because I know I’m fortunate, but luck has nothing to do with it. I work hard for one, but I’m also a “doer.”
So many people sit on the sidelines and watch other people do. I’m not saying people don’t have financial struggles or reasons for not being able to “do” things, but I strongly believe it’s possible for everyone to DO.
Game 5 NLCS Giants clincher last week!
If you’ve always wanted to get to Europe? Create a plan to get there. Figure out when you can get off of work and for how long, get estimates on how much it’s going to cost… And start to save. If attending a baseball playoff game seems like an impossibility? It isn’t. I simply got online and found tickets I could afford. Period. There’s no secret sauce! 
The thing is you can apply this to all parts of your life. I’m reading a book right now by Jen Sincero called “You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life.” There are so many quotes I could share, but one that stands out is this: “Living a life on purpose is available to everyone.” It’s the notion that things reveal themselves through doing and not thinking. Everything you do along the journey contributes to where you want to “get”… I learned early in my career that it’s about the journey and not the destination. Trust your gut and make your move!
I know I don’t have certain things that might prevent me from “doing,” but I also create opportunities for myself because I’m a doer. The next time you find yourself thinking “Man, I wish I could do that,” STOP and ask yourself WHY not? You might just discover that you can, and perhaps you can get unstuck and be a doer too.

“New Media” Brings New Identity Theft

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Everyone’s aware of what “identity theft” is and how devastating it can be. It can take forever to straighten things out with all of your accounts and even longer to clear up your credit record. It’s SO pervasive because of all the online access hackers get, and other ways thieves can get access to our money and identities. Because it’s so pervasive, there’s lots of help out there when it occurs. 

But what about the theft of a persona? The theft of a person’s face, via photographs and an online profile? As my friend Kim stated today, “The laws have not kept up with technology”… too true. It appears that by having our photographs on the Internet we are all opening ourselves up to theft of our photos. Of our selves. 

For months—or maybe even years—some person or group of people have been using a collection of my photos and portraying themselves as me. Not with my name, but with my face. It’s my face that’s out there and has been trying to commit fraud (though, I’m guessing they have had some success or they wouldn’t still be doing it), and pry money from unsuspecting men on Match.com. Apparently it’s called a “Romance scam.” 

And it appears there’s absolutely nothing I can do about it. I haven’t been on Match.com for 2.5 years, but I first learned of this happening nine months ago… Unfortunately, Match says there’s nothing they can do about it other than remove a profile. But what’s to stop the thieves from creating another and another? Nothing.

When I told my Dad the San Diego Police Dept. came to my door today as a favor to the Sunnyvale PD because they couldn’t reach me, and someone was pretending to “be me” he said, “I’ve never heard of such a thing.” Of course not, because the Internet brings with it its own special version of violations and crimes! 

Img credit: blog.fanchimp.com

It’s one thing to use an image that is copyrighted without giving credit—and that is difficult enough to manage… But using a person’s total image as their own? It simply HAS to be a crime. How many other people is this actively happening to as I write this? 

When is the law going to catch up to not just be concerned with the “money fraud” part of the equation? I believe a crime is also being committed against me.

Ain’t No Shame

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Sometimes I write when I want to get a professional thought or perspective out there. Other times I write when my heart tells me to. Today my heart yelled at me.

Everyone’s trying to make sense of the loss of the late, great Robin Williams. But we won’t ever make sense of it. We might come to grips with it, once the healing has started, but depression is a tricky beast. I was first touched by suicide in high school when a friend’s brother took his life. I thought it was so selfish. I was young and naive at the time, but this is a sentiment I’ve heard many times since then. Included among those times was when I was in a regional leadership role for my sorority when a collegian in one of our chapters committed suicide in 2006. And when a good high school friend took her life in 2009. And again when my friend’s husband took his life in 2013. I’ve come to learn that it’s an illness—depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain and so many more people suffer from it than we even know.

While I personally have never been clinically depressed, I have had some VERY low lows. The lowest came when I was a sophomore in H.S… and other lows have come and gone, but I know it’s NOTHING compared to what people who are truly sick experience. That’s the thing – depression IS a sickness. It’s nothing to be ashamed of because it’s a sickness, just like addiction is. When struck with both? What a horrible combination—a vicious cycle for so many—most of whom we’re familiar with because they’re famous. Chris Farley, Heath Ledger, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Robin Williams… Sadly, these names came to mind VERY quickly, but there are so many more. These people I just listed might have touched our hearts with their talents, but there are one in ten other folks out there who are “regular Joes” and “Jills” who suffer without us knowing.

Circa 80-something – the good ‘ole days… Me, Mindi, Tracy, & Sarah 

Have you considered reaching out to someone in your life who you worry about? Or do you hold back for fear that you’ll hurt their feelings or because it might hurt your relationship? I know I have someone in my life whose depression I worry about all the time, but I’ve never really said anything. I worried about my brother Terry’s alcohol addiction, but I never said anything, and that slowly killed him. Not that I could have changed it, but I do wonder.

I briefly worked for an ad agency that has the task of supporting a local San Diego county (www.Up2SD.org), and now a statewide (www.suicideispreventable.org), campaign to help recognize mental health challenges in others and ourselves. What important work this is! It’s so awesome that government funding is going towards this very important cause. Hopefully it will make a difference.

If you or someone you know needs help or support with depression or addiction, please speak up. But also know THIS: All you can do is try. If something happens with them, it’s not your fault… They say there is no “try,” there is only do or don’t, but that doesn’t apply here – TRY, try, and try again.

Captain My Captain, you are missed – #RIPRobinWilliams. And so are you, Chris, Stephanie, Mindi, Thad… and all of the “regular” people who have left us far too soon.

Visit the Websites above if in CA or www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org nationally… Or call this national suicide hotline number: 1-800-273-8255. There is HELP out there – you DO matter – and there is ZERO shame in raising your hand to ask for help for yourself or someone else. Please do.

Dating Tips From a 5-Year-Old

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The pic’s a lil’ fuzzy – us at the Roller Derby rink!

You know the saying, everything you need to know you learned in Kindergarten, right? Well, I recently babysat my friends’ 5-year-old son, and I joked that it was the best date I had had in quite a while! No, but seriously. 

He was game for everything… 

  • He let me take him to see my friend’s Roller Derby match (and agreed to stay about 10-minutes longer than he cared to)… A compromiser. 
  • Wanted an Icee and shared it with me… A sharer. 
  • When he asked what else we were doing, I said we would get dinner and he wanted pizza… Great taste in food, even if he preferred Pizza Hut over any other kind of pizza (my compromise). 
  • He then asked if we could watch a movie and he let me pick it (we agreed to watch Star Wars 😉 ). 

He was genuinely interested in learning about ME… 

  • He asked what I do for a living. Explaining what marketing is to a 5-year-old was a challenge, but I think I did an okay job. His response? “I think you should do something else for work” – to which I asked “Well, what do you think I should do?” He responded with both the professions his Dad and Mom work within… And we had a chat. 
  • He also asked where I live – and then asked if I’m friends with my neighbors. 

HE’S 5!! 

I truly can’t recall the last time I had someone who was really interested in learning about me in such a genuine way. Of course, these aren’t just lessons in dating, but in life, and I really appreciated the sweet little evening I had with my smart new boyfriend Gabe. 

Oh, and he was right about the pizza, by the way, and didn’t rub it in too much – just gave me the “yumm-o” lifted eyebrows and said “I told you.” 

Touché.